I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
