did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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