So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
