I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
