Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
