this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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