so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
