I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
