I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
