Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
