I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
