She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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