ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
