The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
