youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
