don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just had sex on a roof
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
