i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
