It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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