Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
