I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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