they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
