so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
