While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
