So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
