Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
