He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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