See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
