We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
