yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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