Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
