then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
