I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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