everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
