Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
