I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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