found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
