dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
