I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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