Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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