I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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