whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
