i just google imaged poop.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize