member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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