My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
