i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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