It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
