if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
