this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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