so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
