Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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