and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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