that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
