The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
