Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
