It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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