I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
