Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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