she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
