I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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