Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
