Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
