You made me cry and you don't even care
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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