all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
